Sorry for not posting for a few days. By my recollection, they've been mostly busy, a bit up and down, mostly on track but some of them have been far off. During the past few days, I have started to successfully avoid most porn and hookup sites with only the occasional slip-up (and as a net result, I'm wasting a lot less time masturbating than I have before this week). The boyfriend and I have had some amazing sex and some shouting matches. The stress in the household is high and I think it's just going to be that way until I get some work again.
On the employment front, I have sent out resumes every single day for work even remotely related to my field. I have reapplied for a position at a well-known electronics retail and service chain, so we'll see if any leads come from that. So far, nobody has sent so much as a reply e-mail or a single response. That's the hardest part of this: I feel like a complete failure, even though I know this is just a temporary situation. I'm having a lot of trouble getting past the idea that, I've made a major mistake in my life that I am paying for now. So I've resolved to write and post things in this blog that motivate me and keep me going, while keeping in touch with the desire to keep a pulse on my own progress along the way.
I'm going to try a new model that involves shorter, but more frequent post, so pretty much at any point I feel I have something to share, I'm going to put it on here. I will also check in every few days with a personal post specifically about my own struggles, failures, and successes.
Wish me luck, and I will wish you the best on your journey as well. I am very well aware I have no readership at this point, but I'm hoping that at some point my writing will provide some comfort to others out there who are struggling. And if you have a point of self-recognition with an impulse to share, please don't hesitate to post a comment. It will brighten my day, I promise you, and I will try to respond as much as possible.
All the best,
j

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