It's done

I called the hot black former personal trainer this morning and asked him not to come. Unfortunately, he did not pick up, so I left a message inviting him to call, but asking him not to come over. I briefly explained that I didn't want to hurt him or my boyfriend (or myself) and that I'm also way behind on some other work for this month.

I feel good about this. I feel like I'm finally being honest with myself about what I'm doing. And I feel like I can finally start being honest with my boyfriend.